about coming home
Going back to a familiar place after a long time holds a special kind of anticipation. It takes you to this space between memories and day dreams of what’s to come, bringing back little details of your past, wrapped in a soft filter of nostalgia and excitement. Jumping out of bed at 3 am to get to the airport on time isn’t a problem this time, the music in your ears – which used to be the soundtrack to your life there – gets you even more hyped and all of a sudden you’re sitting at the gate misty eyed because that exact anticipation paired with a walk down memory lane are an emotional explosive. But honestly, how lucky are you that there is a place out there that makes you feel this extraordinary way?
Estonia holds a special place in my heart. This magical country came at a time when I felt lost and confused and gave me a whole new sense of self and purpose when I needed it most. Still, it would just be another country if it weren’t for the people that make the memories so vivid and the place one I can come home to, in the truest sense of the meaning.
It’s those people and the shared memories that make the anticipation of coming back to that one place so special. And then you land and the walk down memory lane is not in your head, it’s real, you yourself are walking it, celebrating all the little, mundane things that were once part of your daily life. It’s the way they say “next stop” or seeing the kiosks you used to get two coffees for the price of one from every morning that make you so insanely happy all of a sudden. It’s taking the 20 minute train ride from the airport to the city center to hug an old friend at her graduation and stumbling into a group of people you used to see every day but never talk to again these days. People who are surprised you are here but also not at all, because it seems like it’s only been yesterday since you last hung out.
And slowly but surely your walk down memory turns into a path full of new experiences and adventures, trips and coffee breaks and nights out that will take you through the time in between your times here. But you know one thing for sure: as long as these people, your people are here, there’s more trips to be taken and more memories to be made and it’s all part of this wonderful anticipation. It makes the sadness of missing out a little less hard. You know you can ease back into it any day. This is your place and these are your people.
