postcard from bordeaux #3: about le Marché des capucins and why we need bad days, too

Hey friends,

It’s another day in Bordeaux and I am currently sitting outside the local food market, the Marché des Capucins. It’s where the locals buy their produce, apparently. Everywhere you look you can find fresh veggies, the most mouthwatering cheese you’ve every seen, stalls with boxes and boxes full of fresh oysters, one covered in all shades of green, selling solely herbs and another one specialized in olives. Sprinkled in are little wine bars and bistros who serve a small, but market-fresh menu, pastries and coffee. Which is where I am currently at.

The sun is shining onto my back and I am considering taking my beige, knitted sweater off. On the little wooden table in front of me, my coffee is waiting – my first coffee in a couple of days, actually – who am I? It was served to me by an old, cheerful French man in a tweed suit who spoke English with a heavy accent while I had my best go at ordering in French. Actually, that’s a lie. I ordered in English and then tried to continue the conversation in English. “”Oui, sans sucre. Par carte, s’il vous plait” So much for ordering in French. But it gave him a chance to admire the way I spoke English and myself a chance to admire his French. Cute little conversation we had there.

Behind me, I can hear a water power pressure hose being used, in front of me a truck is idling and to my left, people are carrying their groceries home or driving by on their scooters – the fitter ones on their bikes. Every now and again somebody walks past and the old men tending the coffee stall greets them and strikes up a short conversation with them – it doesn’t matter to him if they are close to the cart or on the other side of the street. Their voices are loud enough.

It feels chaotic, loud and serene at the same time here and I cannot stop thinking that this right here is real life, full to the bursting. I am an observer of what feels like a small little ecosystem in a big town. People know each other, they are kind and care. And this is exactly how Bordeaux feels as a whole. Like a small town with a big city mindset and I feel so incredibly alive right here, right now.

And while today is wonderful, there was also yesterday. Yesterday, when I felt shitty, lonely, unproductive, and anxiously sad. Just like I wasn’t enough. But I sat with it. I gave myself the time to feel these feelings, too. Didn’t push myself too hard. Probably for the first time in my life, I was fully aware and made an active decision to just let it happen, to not distract myself with mindless social media scrolling and to remind myself that these feelings will pass.

I realize that days like these are real life, too. We need them just as much as the good ones, otherwise, how would we be able to feel happiness at all? The day yesterday motivated me just a tad more to venture out today. It might have even given me the energy to do so. And it brought me right here, to my little spot in the sun, outside this vibrant market, with my coffee, my notebook and the old French men who showed me once more how kind and open this city is.

Until next time, Kathi